A simple task

If you are feeling like you can’t accomplish anything, try doing something really, really tiny.

For me, I chose petting my cats. They are very soft and love belly rubs. It only takes a minute, but adding this task to my daily to-do list makes me feel like I have accomplished something.

This is one of the “easy” tasks I mentioned in last week’s post Feeling Better.

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Feeling Better

Hello all!!

After months of feeling listless, I am feeling much, much better!

I was stuck in a very negative cycle. I would be uninterested in completing a task and justify the delay by saying, “I can finish it later.” The next day, I would berate myself for failing to do anything and resigned myself to adding another item to a long list of things that needed to be done.

Many times, I woke up thinking that I was going to get some stuff done. However, as soon as breakfast was finished, I found so many excuses and distractions that stopped me from getting started on anything.

Last week, I finally had a sort of heart-to-heart with someone about how I have been feeling. They reassured me that it was okay; I was human. Even if I wasn’t 100% productive, I had a support network and it will always be there.

After many, many tears, I felt so much lighter and ready to try to increasing my productivity. I grabbed a half-filled notebook and wrote everything that needed to be done; every single task. Flipping to the next page, I wrote five small things that I already do without anything prompting, such as “eat breakfast” and “listen to music.” Under those items, I wrote five tasks that were listed on the previous page.

On Monday, I quickly checked off the “easy” items by noon. While I ate lunch, I had my list next to me. Seeing half of the list already done was a huge motivator. By dinner, I completed three of the five “hard” tasks.

The rest of the week went similarly. My “easy” tasks are mostly done within the first hour of waking up. I was unable to complete all five “hard” in one day, but I just breathed deeply and let it go. Most days, I managed at least one “hard” item, except for Wednesday. That day, I was extremely tired and it was difficult to get all the “easy” ones checked off.

I am writing this post to mark the week I started to put effort into my life again. Hopefully, it will serve as a reminder that it is possible to feel better whenever I get stuck in another depressive loop.

Anxiety and Lying

Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 3am two nights in a row after months of blissful sleep. Consistently waking up completely alert in the middle of the night only happens when I feel a lot of anxiety, so of course I began to replay recent thoughts and actions. Today, I identified that it started from me lying about school.

3am

Continue reading Anxiety and Lying

Being more Active

I have a pretty sedentary lifestyle. Besides the occasional ping pong at work and racquetball at the school gym, I spend most of the day sitting. Last week, I noticed my shoulders starting to bend forward. I get messages every day from one source or another stating how posture affects your life in the future, so I knew I had to pay more attention to my body and get those muscles working.  Continue reading Being more Active

Forgetting my Computer Glasses

I forgot to bring my Gunnar computer glasses to work a few times this week. This episode of absent-mindedness gave me an opportunity to remember what it was like before having glasses and noticing some very subtle differences between wearing and not wearing them (besides the obvious experience of seeing everything with a yellow tint). 
Continue reading Forgetting my Computer Glasses