Writing is something that does not come easily to me. Despite my inability to write best-selling novels, I still enjoy doing it whenever I can. It brings a great sense of achievement to pause and realize you have more than two pages filled with words. Almost everyday, I get an idea of a topic to write about, but do not have the time to sit and put the words on paper. I have various excuses, but the predominant one is the fact that I am too lazy to write and believe that I can write about it tomorrow. Right after thinking this, I know right away that I will probably never write about that topic because tomorrow there will be something else to scribble about and I will not have the same motivation to write about yesterday’s topic. The few times I have a pen and paper nearby to jot down notes provide a big help in continuing something, but it is not the same as writing as soon as an idea hits you.
On the other hand, there are a number of reasons I want to write. The biggest motivator is that the fact that my emotions are so overwhelming that I simply cannot wait another moment and must release my thoughts. I both love and hate myself when I am emotional.
I love it because whenever I go back and read previous journal entries, the ones written during my most emotional times are usually the pieces that I can re-connect to the easiest. The words are used in an emphatic way that does not exist when I write in a neutral mood. Being in an emotional state also helps me switch between different writing pieces and I can be quite productive (in a personal sense). I can churn out a number of paragraphs during these times, which is a vast improvement to the 3 sentences I drag out of my brain whenever the emotions are neatly boxed in.
I hate being emotional because it leads to a lot more ups and downs in my life. Opening myself to new experiences leave me vulnerable to disappointment, sadness, extreme joy, etc. This roller coaster of feelings can cause grief to people around me because they are unsure what words will raise my self-esteem or lower it even further.
To you who found this post, is it easier or harder to write when you are emotional?